I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
