long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
