Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize