the day after is always just damage control
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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