the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
