pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
