More tranny stories later!
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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