I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
