we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
