Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
