im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
