So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
