I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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