a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
