Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
