I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
