Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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