I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
