Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
