Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
