There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
