Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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