who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
