My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
