I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
