Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
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he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
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I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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