He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
