I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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