My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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