i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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