Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
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