You smell like a Billy Joel song
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
