Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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