oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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