no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
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