oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We were destined to go to rehab together
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
you made out with another girl for some wings
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
