actually, I'm a sock model
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
