everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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