why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
