You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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