She's JV to your varsity
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
