he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
