this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
