I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
