I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Is it because I queefed?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
