I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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