she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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