its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
