Did you just see the Batmobile???
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Someone signed my nipple.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
