i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
