his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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