my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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