Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
