i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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