I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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