so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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