'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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