I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
