he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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