did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Welp...herpes.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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