Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
